Poopy Pants

Working in the alcoholic beverage industry, you can imagine the stories. Weekends typically bring out the particularly great moments from the most out-of-control patrons.

According to MedicalNewsToday.com:

“Alcohol agitates the intestines and causes them to react by speeding up digestion. The muscles in the colon contract more frequently, pushing stool out faster than usual. This quickening can lead to diarrhea, as the intestines do not have time to digest the passing food properly.

Where I work, apparently one woman suffered such affects without sufficient warning and opted to leave her soiled undergarment on the floor – THE FUCKING FLOOR – of the communal bathroom.  For real?  Jesus!  Okay, I understand the embarrassment – well, not entirely as I have never publicly shit myself requiring a discreet disposal – but for God’s sake there IS a trash receptacle.  Perhaps, the bathroom was crowded and she would have been too humiliated to emerge with the muddy mess; whatever, there is a lined “lady-thing” repository in every stall – USE THAT! Nope, she left her poopy pants for the poor unsuspecting hostess of the establishment.

From those of us with more courteous bathroom habits, I send loads <smirk> of appreciation to every hospitality worker that must face such atrocities saving us from those horrific discoveries. Thank you!

In days of old when knights were bold and toilets weren’t invented,
They left their load beside the road and walked away contented.


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